


Mama Michaelis

by ttfan111robstar1



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Caring Sebastian, Cats, Ciel Phantomhive Being an Asshole, Ciel Phantomhive is Annoyed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Death, Demon Sebastian Michaelis, Demons have parents, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Grell Sutcliff is a Troll, Heavy Sarcasm, Lau is confusing, Mentions of drugs, Mystery, No age play until the end, Non-Sexual Age Play, Sebastian has a Mom, Surprises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:42:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24691726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ttfan111robstar1/pseuds/ttfan111robstar1
Summary: Sebastian Michaelis was having an ordinary day- until his mother showed up at the Phantomhive Manor.
Relationships: Sebastian Michaelis & Ciel Phantomhive, Sebastian Michaelis & Grell Sutcliff, Sebastian Michaelis & Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 42





	Mama Michaelis

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PrinceOfHell00](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceOfHell00/gifts).



> HELLOOOOO DARLING READERS!
> 
> Thank y'all for coming to check out this little fic. It took over my life for the past three days XD I know y'all were probably expecting another Little Sebby fic, but this one pretty much demanded my attention and did not let go until I finished it.
> 
> This fic is for the totally amazing Sam, who wrote some of the best Sebastian and Ciel age play fics I have ever had the joy of reading, and who was there for the entire process of my writing this fic. I couldn't have done this without you, Sam! Thank you for all the encouragement!
> 
> I hope you guys all enjoy this fic! And if you want a series of it, let me know!

As morning dawned on the day of November 8, 1889, The Phantomhive household was in it’s usual state of affairs. In the early morning, Sebastian Michaelis, butler to Ciel Phantomhive, awoke the other servants of the manor, and got them to their tasks for the morning. And, as always, he ended up having to correct them. Once Mey-Rin’s broken dishes were cleaned up, Baldroy’s flaming food was put out, and Finny’s nearly demolished lawn was made to look fresh as a daisy, he could focus on what he had to do for the day. His master had lessons to attend until ten thirty, then a meeting with the Undertaker at one thirty regarding an errand given to him at the behest of Queen Victoria, and finally he had a business meeting around five in the evening. He’d planned out the menu, saw to getting extra ingredients to be certain that Bard couldn’t ruin dinner, got bone china stashed where Mey-Rin could not break it, and had made sure to have several plants on hand in case Finny desecrated the front lawn again.  
  
All was in order, and all was as it should have been.

So why, then, was there a niggling feeling of unrest at the back of his mind? Why then did anxiety fray his nerves the way it did? Aside from the typical chaos of living with Three idiot savant servants, one seasoned butler who did not appear as himself too often, and an entitled and bratty young master, there was nothing wrong. No men armed with guns were lurking around the manor, nor were there any suspicious letters or packages near the home, nor was there Grell or any other grim reaper on the grounds to try his patience. Despite all those reassurances, he could not help but feel that something was going to happen today.

Typically he did not deign to dwell on those feelings, as there was too much work to be done. But for the moment, as he was polishing the silver, he could do so. There were no humans near the manor grounds. He could smell it. Though he did not often think it of himself, the thought did cross his mind that perhaps he was worrying over nothing. Or perhaps, something that had yet to happen. There was no use in worrying over the unknown. Only when trouble revealed itself was there cause for concern. So, as he finished polishing the silver to a spotless shine, he put those thoughts out of his mind. After all, it was nearly time to wake the master.

The morning routine of the house carried on without a hitch. Sebastian woke his master, helped him dress for the day, and served breakfast as was his duty. He ended up clearing the plates away, as Mey-Rin had already nearly broken another plate, and he was loathed to let her do any more damage than had already been done earlier this morning. After clearing the plates away, he escorted his young master to the drawing room for a violin lesson.   
  
As Ciel played Bach’s Partita No. 2 in D minor, Sebastian felt unease worm it’s way into his stomach. He tried to ignore it, but his instincts protested the treatment. As Ciel’s piece drew to a close, he suggested a short break. Ciel, while surprised at the gesture, was ultimately grateful for it, as he hadn’t been holding his violin and bowstring the way he should have, and his fingers were cramping. He watched Sebastian walk out from the drawing room, and wondered what possibly could have drawn his attention away from him so quickly.   
  
Sebastian went down the hallway at a dreadfully human pace, unable to go as quickly as he would have liked to for fear of arousing suspicion. He wanted to outrun this feeling that he had, because it was taking his focus from his young master, and yet it refused to quell itself. He might have groaned in frustration were he any less of a demon. The mystery for why he felt the way he did was as tantalizing as it was frustrating.  
  
And then, he smelled it.  
  
The scent of roses, Lilies, and sulfur. A scent he’d know anywhere. A scent that had at one time been his entire world. But it was impossible. Truly, it had to have been a fluke. There was no way what he was smelling was real. It simply couldn’t _be_.  
  
When the front door rumbled with the poundings of someone knocking, he began to have doubts about that.

The heart in his body skipped a beat, and he found himself walking hurriedly toward the front door.  
  
 _It can’t be. It cannot be.  
  
_ The thoughts replayed over and over in his mind again.  
  
When he opened the door, a woman with long straight hair down to her waist, a pearl necklace, a Black and red dress, and Amber eyes- _his_ eyes- was staring straight at him. Though his mind did not react to the sight fast enough to form words, his body did. The automatic response it always had when she had first entered the room. He knelt before her, as he always had, and when she offered him a gloved hand, covered in jewelry, he took it and kissed it as he was meant to.

Tremors made his body shake ever so slightly. He could have attributed it to the power emanating from her, but that would have been a blatant lie. The truth was, she caused them not by her power, but by invoking his fear as to why she was here.  
  
“It has been a long time, darling.” Her voice was smooth as silk and rich as an expensive chocolate.  
  
“That it has. At least a century, if not more.” He said.  
  
“Time means little to us. We rarely notice it’s passing. And yet we should, because we never know when our own time will end.”  
  
“Yes.” He said, voice a whisper. He looked up at her, searching for any hint of disdain or malice in her eyes, but found none. At that, he could breathe a bit easier. At least she did not come for the reason he feared.  
  
“Sebastian?”  
  
The voice of Ciel Phantomhive shook Sebastian from his reverie as he turned to face him. “My Lord?”  
  
“You did not tell me we were to have guests.”  
  
“My apologies.” The woman said, politely. “I would have sent ahead if I had thought it through. It was thoughtless of me not to.”  
  
Ciel walked toward her. “I am Ciel Phantomhive, the Earl of this estate.” He said, extending a hand, which she shook. “Sebastian, since you appear to be prostrating yourself before her, I assume I can ask you who she is?”  
  
It was only then that Sebastian realized that he was still kneeling, and got up, bowing to his master. “My apologies, Lord. May I present to you Lady Lilith Michaelis. My mother.”  
  
“Your… Mother?” Ciel asked, as if he hadn’t quite understood what he’d said.  
  
“Certainly, Lord Phantomhive, you did not expect him to have appeared out of thin air?” Lilith spoke, her eyes flashing pink momentarily.  
  
“Of course not. Please, forgive my rudeness. I wasn’t thinking.” Ciel said.  
  
“But of course. My apologies for disrupting your day, but I was wondering if I might steal a moment or two with… Sebastian.”  
  
“Of course, Lady. Please, do take all the time you need.” He said.  
  
“Thank you, Lord Phantomhive.” She smiled, teeth pearly white and luminous. Ciel couldn’t help the feeling that those teeth wouldn’t mind sinking a bite or two into his soul. The thought disturbed him more than he wanted to admit, and so he excused himself to his study.  
  
Sebastian escorted her to the drawing room, where Ciel’s violin lay abandoned on a table. He could not articulate the flurry of emotions that he always associated with his mother. Emptiness, denial, and pain. Pain both from the punishments she could inflict and the fact that she was spread so thinly over her children that he’d felt quite ignored as a child, denial that he felt that pain at all, and an empty space inside of him where her love and attention were supposed to be. Now, as he moved the discarded violin back onto the stand, the old emotional cocktail flared up inside of him again, and it took every ounce of his dignity to not let it show on his face.  
  
“I can see why you chose him.” She said, after a moment. “His soul is fragrant with innocence, bitterness, anger and a burning desire for revenge. But you haven’t been eating. You look far, far too skinny, darling. You know I don’t like it when you starve yourself.” She admonished.  
  
“Yes, Mother, I know.” He said. “Might I inquire as to why you’ve come to visit? If you were going to kill me for some perceived insubordination you would have done it by now.”  
  
“You’ve forgotten?” She asked, seeming mildly amused.  
  
“Forgotten what?”  
  
“It’s your birthday, darling.”  
  
“My…” It took a moment for that to sink in, and another to do the math in his mind. But by the human calendar, she was correct. It took a moment for him to clear his throat as a wave of surprise, and a small shot of giddiness that she’d remembered the day overtook him. “I had completely forgotten.”

“Apparently.” She said. “Usually for the big birthdays you and your brother’s and sisters take a day away to pillage and plunder souls, or create something to make the world more interesting.” She said, and found herself smiling. “Remember when you were little and created the black plague?”  
  
He found himself smiling. “The ramifications of that still haven’t quite been shaken off in this world. They study it in books.”  
  
“Your father and I were so proud of you. So young, and already building a lasting legacy for yourself.” She smiled.

“That aside, I still don’t know the reason for your visit.” He said, getting back to business.  
  
“Ah, yes, that. I was thinking we could spend your birthday together? The last important birthday you had I was too busy trying to stop your father from killing the Mayan civilizations with an apocalypse, so I unfortunately wasn’t able to be there for it.”

“You… Want to spend my birthday together?” He asked, feeling a strange cocktail of hope, excitement, and fear churning through his system at the idea. There was still a part of him that craved his mother’s attention, approval, and affection, and he didn’t want to get his hopes up only to be let down again.  
  
“It’s been a while since we’ve done anything together for fun. The last time was when we helped out in the Spanish Inquisition, wasn’t it?”  
  
“Ah, now I remember. We certainly gave Spain a lot of new ways to get answers from perceived Heretics, didn’t we?”  
  
“We certainly did.” She smiled. “There were a lot of good souls in Spain that year.”  
  
“You know they were too wet for my taste. All the waterboarding… I much prefer them charred like they were in the Salem Witch Trials.”  
  
“I prefer mine a little more watery, but to each his own.” She smiled.

There was a beat of silence, and then, Sebastian spoke.  
  
“So, you want to spend my birthday together?” He asked, cautiously.  
  
“Yes. I would. Is that alright?” She asked, looking at him for approval.  
  
He almost hesitated, but that part of him that still craved her attention and affection spoke before he could. “Yes. Yes, that would be fine. Although my duties to my master still come first, of course.”  
  
“Of course, of course. By all means, fulfill your contractual obligations. I want you to eat. If I bring you some charred souls would you eat them?” She asked, concerned. “You really look too skinny. You’ve always been a picky eater, but sometimes you need to bite the bullet in that regard.”  
  
Sebastian mulled it over. “If they’re to my liking, then very well.”  
  
Lilith beamed at her son. “Excellent!”  
  
“Now then, I was in the midst of giving my master a violin lesson. Would you care to be his audience?”  
  
“I’d be delighted.” She smiled.  
  
“Very well. I’ll fetch him.” He said, feeling a small smile hint at the at the corners of his mouth.  
  
“I’ll be here.” She promised.  
  
Trying not to hold her to that promise, he went to fetch his young Lord.  
  
When he reached the study, he found his young Lord busying himself with making a house of cards. When he got another part of it on, he stopped and turned to Sebastian.  
  
“So, your mother has come to pay us a visit.” He said, looking at Sebastian in a way that made him certain this would be used as teasing fodder for years to come.  
  
“Indeed. It is my birthday. She had hoped to spend it with me since she missed the last major one in my existence.”  
  
“Your birthday?” He asked.  
  
“I had forgotten it was today, considering I don’t pay much attention to the passage of time in this world.” He admitted.  
  
“So I see.” Ciel answered. There was an undercurrent of bitterness to his tone.   
  
“My Lord, if my Mother’s presence makes you uncomfortable, I can ask her to leave. Unlike myself, she is not contractually obligated to be here.” He said.  
  
“Don’t be ridiculous. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable.” He said. “It’s simply a bad reminder of all I’ve lost, just like the rest of this manor.”  
  
“Then what will you have me do? She will not be angry if I tell her to leave on your command. I dare say she’s so concerned with my eating that she won’t take it badly. Contrary to your perspective on the matter, demons do have a mutual understanding about keeping contracts. She has agreed to leave me to my duties as it stands at the present.”  
  
Ciel paused. “Fine. She can stay.”  
  
Sebastian bowed. “Thank you, Lord.”  
  
“Yes, fine. Can we get back to my lessons now? I don’t want to be late for the rest of my appointments today.”  
  
“Certainly, Lord. Right this way.” He said, and led Ciel to the drawing room.  
  
When they arrived, Lilith still sat on the chaise in the drawing room, much to Sebastian’s relief. Ciel, then, was able to take in the sight of the woman who his butler called “mother”.  
  
Her skin was cream and roses. The pallor of moonlight shaded her skin, only to be set off by cheeks the colors of rose petals. Her hair went to the middle of her back, Straight as an arrow, but curled into ringlets on the very ends of the strands. The gown she wore was red with black lace covering it, that looked intricately woven and tailored to her. She wore longer gloves, as though she were going to an opera, and her fingers were bejeweled with gold, diamond, and particularly ruby-colored rings. A strand of pearls hung around her neck, somehow seeming too heavy for her to wear, and yet luminescent enough to light up her appearance. Her face was perhaps what he spent the most time on. It was a heart-shaped face, with high cheek bones, a perfectly curved nose and chin, full lips painted a light shade of pink, and amber eyes that appeared to- and certainly might have been able to, considering who she was- pierce his soul. And yet, she smiled, and her eyes appeared happy. It was the first time he’d seen any woman’s eyes hold the kind of emotions hers did since his own mother passed. For a brief moment, a pang of longing pierced his heart, before he recovered himself and focused on the task at hand.  
  
His playing of Bach seemed to improve threefold now that he was being watched by a guest. Sebastian made note of that in his mind for his own future reference. Still, Sebastian did find himself pleased by his young master’s progress, and made a point of saying so. All the while, he felt his mother’s piercing gaze on him, steady as a horse and carriage going along the cobblestone. He felt the pressure of her gaze, and was an inch from going mad under it when he glanced at her face and saw that she was smiling proudly at him. Clearly being able to watch him teach was an enchanting thing for her. He tried not to take too much pride in how well it was going, but it was hard not to seeing how she looked to be bursting with her pride.  
  
After violin lessons there was world history, language, and maths. All the while, Lilith watched her son as he worked to cultivate the young soul before him. It was the one lesson she’d worked to get through to all her children was that being a demon did not mean just eating souls. To be a demon meant to cultivate a soul in the darkness, get it ripe, and be able to enjoy the fruit of your labor. Uncultivated souls never tasted as good. Sebastian had clearly taken the lesson to heart- perhaps a bit too well, considering he was currently starving. Still, her pride did not diminish in one tiny degree. Her son knew the value of a hard-earned meal, and that was something to take pride in.  
  
After Ciel’s lessons had ended, there was a small period of leisure time for the Earl. He asked Sebastian to bring in the chess board so he could try to match wits with himself, before dismissing him.

As he walked down the hall, his mother accompanied him as he went to check on lunch preparations in the kitchen.  
  
“It was wonderful to see how skilled you’ve become as a teacher.” She smiled. “Seems like just yesterday you couldn’t even hide your horns and tail and now look at you, a brilliant demon cultivating souls just like I always hoped you would.” She said, fondly.  
  
He nearly blushed. “Mother, please. Silence yourself. There _are_ humans here, you know.”  
  
“I know. And they’re all another ten meters away. I’ll take my chances to tell stories about you while I can get them.” She smiled.  
  
Sebastian rolled his eyes, and yet couldn’t seem to make himself stop smiling.  
  
When he entered the kitchen, Bard was just about to roast the meat with a flamethrower when Sebastian walked in and gave him a stern glare. He looked a bit put out, until he saw the woman coming in from behind him.   
  
“Well hello, there.” He said, giving a rare smile. “And who might this be?”  
  
“This is my mother, Baldroy. Lady Lilith Michaelis.” He said.  
  
Upon hearing the word “mother”, Bard’s hopes for a bit of fun came tumbling down, and he instantly dropped the idea. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, me lady.”  
  
Lilith gave a smile. “The pleasure is mine.”  
  
“Bard, please, I do not want to have to put out any fires today. Roast the meat in the oven this time and put down the flamethrower.” Sebastian said, sounding exasperated.  
  
“Fine. Have it your way.” He said, more than a little upset at his fun having been cut short. One glare from Sebastian, however, made it vanish in an instant, and made Lilith beam with pride. So very skilled in intimidation. He truly was her son.  
  
After Bard had been sufficiently cowed, Sebastian moved on to check on Mey-Rin, his mother beaming at him after his encounter with the Chef. Mey-Rin had made herself busy by polishing the railing near the front of the manor. Whenever she did that Sebastian made certain to double-check that she never mistook the shoe polish for wax as she once had. For the moment, she seemed to be competent enough.   
  
From there, he looked in on Finny, who seemed to be trimming the lawn fine for now. So, with the servants under control for the moment, he decided to go about straightening every room.  
  
He spoke with his mother intermittently between the tasks, asking questions of how things were back at home. There was nothing of interest to him that she reported, although he found it amusing that father seemed to be getting surly being stuck at home with a bout of illness.   
  
“He’s been in bed for two days now. When I came to see you, I told him I was going to try and find some methods of curing him.” She’d said, smiling.  
  
“Am I to guess that you already have a plan and simply used the excuse to get away for a day?”  
  
Lilith flashed him a smile. “Perceptive. You always were good at seeing through false veneers.”  
  
“Considering our family it’s practically a sport.” He said, smiling crookedly.  
  
She tittered at the comment. “I’ll give you that one.”

By the time every room had been straightened, it was time for lunch. Lilith declined a seat at the table that was politely offered by both Ciel and her son, content to wait in the drawing room until it was over. She’d wanted to take a moment to center herself. After all the excitement in the day, it was certainly nice to take a moment to breathe. It was a small blip of time, from the beginning of end to lunch, and yet it was plenty of time to think on how much her son had grown up.  
  
Time always seemed so meaningless to demons. Immortality made it so simple to forget that the construct even existed- it seemed so utterly _human_ that it was easy to forget that time still worked in the demon realm. Now, as she looked back on her son’s growth, she wondered where it all had gone. From the moment he was born up to now seemed like a blink of an eye. Those little moments of settling a squabble between him and his brothers and sisters, singing to him when he got sick, and holding him close had seemed so eternal in retrospect. She’d always thought she’d have plenty of time to enjoy them. But children grew up, whether she was prepared for it or not. It was the natural consequence of life- even an immortal life- and she found herself regretting not cherishing those moments more.   
  
She would have given anything to turn back the clock. Though she had thousands of children, and was certain she’d bear many more, it did not mean that her time with each of them wasn’t precious. Looking back on her son’s childhood, she found herself wishing she’d savored it more, because now that child was grown, and she had to settle for small glimpses of the child he’d been- the glint in his eyes at a mischievous joke, the crooked smile after a sarcastic comment, the pickiness about his food. She’d failed to notice the small details of his childhood as it happened, and now had to settle for trying to catch a glimpse of the young boy he’d been in his adult mannerisms, or else she would have to admit to herself that her son was truly grown up and didn’t need her anymore- which was more frightening than the threat of any Grim Reaper.

She was snapped out of those thoughts by her son coming into the drawing room and announcing that his master had business to attend to in London, and wondering if she cared to accompany him. Forcing those thoughts from her mind, she plastered a smile on her face, and agreed, hiding any trace of sadness that might have marred her face.  
  
When the carriage was ready, Sebastian had attempted to insist that his mother sit inside of the carriage, but she’d shot him down immediately, instead choosing ride next to her son as he drove the Carriage. She already felt the loss of time with him as a gaping void in her chest. She wasn’t about to lose anymore. Sebastian had been surprised at her insistence, but had not dared argue with her. He could vividly recall the arguments that his brothers had gotten into with mother when they were in hormonal stages of development, and he did _not_ want to be the recipient of one of her tongue lashings, lest he find himself a quivering mess for weeks to come.  
  
The ride into London from the countryside was a quiet one. Sebastian hadn’t quite known what to say to his mother. He’d known since he’d come to fetch her for the trip that something was bothering her, and yet he also did not know how to address it with her delicately. Though he tended to never mince words with his fellow demons, speaking to his own mother on certain issues was something he knew he had to do carefully and with respect. She was, after all, one of the few demons more powerful than himself. He knew better than to poke a sleeping bear, in that respect. Questions could most certainly be asked, but they had to be phrased tactfully and with the proper respect. His mind was trying to churn out a way to ask it, but for every way that came to mind, a bad outcome followed in quick succession. For himself, the ride went on in awkward silence, filled with ghosts of words he wanted to say, and for his mother, the silence was weighted with the depth of her regrets.

Upon arrival in London, Sebastian parked the carriage a short ways away from the Undertaker’s funeral parlor. Ciel had walked in front of the mother and son pair, entering the Undertaker’s parlor first. Sebastian offered his mother the chance to wait outside, but she’d declined, choosing to follow her son inside.  
  
The three of them found the Undertaker in a barrel of salt.  
  
“My Lord, you’re a bit early today, aren’t you?” He said.   
  
“You should know I don’t waste time with her majesty’s orders, Undertaker. Now, what can you tell me about the ship that sunk near the docks three days ago. More so, what can you tell me about the victims that Scotland Yard cannot?”  
  
“You know the rules, my Lord. A laugh is the cost you pay for information.”  
  
Sebastian stepped forward. “I shall handle this. Please, my Lord, cover your ears.”  
  
Sighing, Ciel, did so. Approximately a minute later, the sight of the Undertaker laughing and the feeling of said laughter shaking the floor told him it was okay to put his hands down.  
  
Undertaker pulled himself out of the barrel, still giggling. “All the victims drowned, except for one, my lord. The captain appeared to be stabbed through the chest. Perhaps a failed mutiny, or maybe something more. As for what the ship was transporting, my Lord, you’d do better to speak with Lau about that than me. I can only tell you about dead people, not dead ships and their cargo.”

“Then can you tell me if you’re expecting any new corpses today from the ship?”  
  
“I’m afraid not, my Lord. They’re all boxed up and ready for their coffins. No new customers to speak of for now.”  
  
“Very well. Sebastian, we’ll be headed to the docks then, for a small detour.”  
  
“Yes, my Lord.” He said, with a small bow.   
  
Ciel led them out of the shop, walking stick pounding on the cobblestone. “That was about as helpful as talking to a bag of rocks. He didn’t tell us anything we already know. Hopefully Lau can give better answers than he did. Her majesty is quite distressed about the drownings.”  
  
He expected Sebastian to reply back. When he didn’t get one, he looked back over his shoulder, irritated at the lack of response, only to become more irritated at what he saw.  
  
Sebastian and his mother were both fawning over a black kitten.

As Sebastian fawned over the small creature, His mother seemed overtly concerned for it.  
  
“You poor creature. Where’s your Mummy?” She cooed. “Kittens aren’t supposed to be without their Mummies.”  
  
Her question was answered not a moment later when a meow startled her and the kitten, as well as her son. They looked, and watched the kitten prance over to an elder black cat- _clearly_ it’s mother- as she began to clean it.  
  
“Such beautiful creatures.” He said to his mother, just as Ciel called to him in irritation. He glanced at her, before he realized that she was crying. Even though she wore a smile, it was tinged with bitterness. His eyes went wide at the sight. Demons, in their true form, were not able to produce tears. In this form, he’d never been sad enough to. But for her to cry in this form meant something disturbing. “Mother? What’s the matter?”  
  
She looked to him, and wiped her eyes with a gloved hand. “Nothing, darling. It’s nothing.”  
  
“If you’re crying it’s clearly not nothing. Please, what is it?”  
  
She looked at him, put her hand to his cheek in a way she used to when he’d been a small child.  
  
“You grew up so fast. Your brothers and sisters, too. Kittens need their Mummies and then they don’t.” She said, choking on the words.

His eyes widened nearly imperceptibly. As good as he was at seeing the truth of a situation, he would have never guessed that his mother was harboring such clear regret. He’d known something had been bothering her, but he’d never in his wildest imagination have pictured her holding the same pain, despair, and emptiness over missing his childhood as he himself had. All his life she’d tried to make herself as available to him as she could, but it had always seemed to him that she never had enough time for _just_ him. He’d never imagined in his centuries of living that she might have realized that too and felt the sting of that feeling. He didn’t know what to say- what words could possibly be good enough to describe what he was feeling?- so instead he reached for her hand, and gave it a tight squeeze, hoping that gesture and his eyes could say what words couldn’t begin to explain.  
  
The moment was broken by Ciel clearing his throat. The both of them seemed to realize that they weren’t alone in that instant, and they shook off the remnants of the tender bonding moment. Sebastian cleared his throat as his mother dropped her hand from his face, and they let go of each other’s hands.   
  
“Forgive me, My Lord. I apologize for my rude behavior.” He said, bowing.  
  
“And I as well. A lady ought not lose her composure over such things. My apologies, Lord Phantomhive.” Lilith said.  
  
“Can we continue onto the docks then?”   
  
“Yes, of course.” Sebastian said, beginning to move forward.  
  
Ciel, now satisfied, turned away from them. Once he did, Sebastian took his mother’s hand back in his own, and the pair shared a smile before walking in step with one another as they trailed behind the earl.

Upon arriving at the docks, Ciel headed straight for Lau’s opium den. The haze of smoke in the room seemed to never dissipate, even if nothing was being smoked. Today, however, that was not the case. On an elongated chesterfield, Lau sat smoking a pipe, Ran-Mao curled up beside him as two scantily clad women wearing purple fanned and tended to him.  
  
“Lord Phantomhive, what a surprise to see you here. I wasn’t expecting you.” Lau said, blowing a trail of smoke.  
  
“Lau. What can you tell me about the ship that went down three days ago?”  
  
After taking a long drag of his pipe, he blew out a long line of smoke slowly. “The ship you speak of was coming back from a trip to China. It was captained by a Mr. William Mason. A very good man, by anyone’s standards. Unfortunately, the cargo he unknowingly brought to port sometimes gave him unknown enemies. I expect our dear captain went down by the hands of a crewmate, perhaps. The Ship did not go down due to it running into anything, I assure you. The ship he captained had seen various scrapes with the unknown and I promise you it would not have been enough to bring it down unless there was a saboteur aboard. And since there were no survivors, I think we can rule that out. It’s contents were opioids, as well as a few other drugs. Nothing new in the cargo, either, I assure you. Aside from that, all I know is that it’s left sixty people dead. Whether it be from a mutiny gone wrong, or other means, who can tell?”  
  
“Was there any damage to the ship that might have caused it to sink?”  
  
“A broken window, If what I’ve heard from Scotland Yard holds true.”  
  
“Easily manipulated to bring a ship down if you wanted to cover something up. But if it killed any survivors then what was the point?”  
  
“Who can say, my Lord? The human mind works in ways that can never be understood. Don’t you agree, Ran-Mao?” He asked, looking to the lady next to him.  
  
Ran-Mao simply nodded her agreement.

“Are any more ships carrying opium expected in port soon?”  
  
“Yes. There’s one due today, in fact.”  
  
“What time is it scheduled to come in?”  
  
“Eight o’clock this evening, my Lord.”  
  
“Excellent. I believe we’ll be paying them a visit."  
  
“As you wish, My Lord. Do be careful, though. Some of the men on these ships do not like you. I’d hate to think of you being injured in a brawl.”  
  
“I’m certain you wouldn’t.” Ciel commented dryly. “In any event, we must be off for the moment. Sebastian, let’s go. We’d best get moving in order to have things ready for my meeting with Mr. James this evening.”  
  
“My Lord.” He said, bowing.   
  
Ciel turned his back to them and the three of them walked out of the room.  
  
The trip back to the Phantomhive Manor was comparatively more relaxed than the trip to London had been. The tension had vanished completely between Lilith and her son, now that they understood what the other was going through. There was certainly a conversation to be had about it later, but that could wait until the day’s work was done.  
  
After they arrived back at the manor things seemed to happen at an unnaturally quick pace. Sebastian found himself sucked into the riptide of other people’s needs. Bard needed help making a dish, Mey-Rin was struggling to choose appropriate flatware, and Finny had overwatered the grounds, leaving the lawn a slippery, muddy, mess. On top of all of that, he had to help his master plan for what they would do at the docks later that night. The demands of others kept him hopping, and left him very little time to think on what had happened between himself and his mother earlier.   
  
Lilith, by contrast, was left with nothing but time. Time to watch, and time to overthink. She had a bad feeling about her son going to the docks tonight. She couldn’t explain why, but a pit had begun forming in her stomach at the mention, and she’d since been feeling a knot of worry growing bigger and bigger with every passing minute. She was torn. If she told her son her suspicions, he might take them seriously or he might not. But even if he did, if his master overruled him, he would have no choice. She didn’t want to have to keep her mouth shut about this, but at the same time, making him worry might just prove useless in the end.  
  
In the end, it didn’t matter. Her son was quickly occupied with the needs of a guest, as a Mr. Henry James came to dine with her son’s young master. She didn’t dare disturb his work, nor worry him in the middle of it. By the time their guest departed, they had to leave immediately for the docks or risk missing the ship coming in.  
  
As the horse and carriage carried on through the autumn evening, Lilith kept her head low, trying to think of how to broach the subject.  
  
“Mother?”  
  
She jerked her head up. “Yes, darling?”  
  
“Is there something troubling you?”  
  
“Yes, actually.”  
  
“Would you care to tell me of it?"  
  
“I have a very bad feeling about this evening, darling.”  
  
“Oh?”  
  
“It’s a knot in my stomach I cannot shake."  
  
“Your instincts have always been spot on. Though you know I cannot do anything about it. I am under my master’s orders."  
  
“I know. That’s why I haven’t said anything about it. There’s no point in worrying you when things are out of your hands.”  
  
“Yes. That is true. But sitting on your worry also does you no good, does it?”  
  
She gave a wan smile. “I suppose you’re right about that. Just… Do be careful this evening?”  
  
“I will, Mother.”  
  
“Promise me that you will.”  
  
“I promise.”

She tried to give her son a smile, but it was riddled with her anxiety. It wasn’t genuine, though, and they both knew it.  
  
The rest of the ride happened in uneasy silence. Not because of tension between any of the parties present, but because of the looming threat of the unknown that lie ahead. Ciel already held an uneasy feeling that tonight was going to end with many casualties, Lilith found herself hoping that her son wouldn’t be one of them, and Sebastian felt torn between his own confidence in himself and the knowledge that when his mother had one of her feelings, she was never, ever wrong.

The trip to the docks was over far too quickly. They parked the carriage out of sight in case a getaway was needed, and as the three of them walked the cobblestone paths under the lamp-lit streets of London, unease became a cloud hovering over the lot of them. Yet not one face ever showed it. The faces of the three figures clothed in black were porcelain in the moonlight. So much alike, they might have passed for a complete biological family. And yet, still, there was determination on their faces, because their task was not yet complete. Through the perceived long walk toward the docks, they each found themselves hoping that this was not the end for them all.  
  
When they reached the docks, Sebastian spotted a familiar face. One that stuck out like a red thumb.  
  
“Grell? What are you doing here?”  
  
The flamboyant red reaper turned to him, grinning a Cheshire grin. “Ah, sweet Bassy! Yet again the fates have intertwined our threads of life together under the moonlit night. Oh, how I wish I was here to dance the evening away with you, but sadly, this is a business call for me. Though that doesn’t mean we couldn’t have a little fun after. I’d love to paint a portrait of you. Black is so boring. You should be painted in the color of blood, of roses, and wine, all of which would make for an excellent first date between us~.”   
  
“Business, you say? Might I ask how many souls are to be reaped this evening?”  
  
“Let’s see, shall we?” He said, checking the ledger. “It looks to be about a hundred, this evening.”  
  
“That’s more than the ship and crew…” Ciel murmured. “What happens?”  
  
Grell flipped through the ledger. “Stabbing, shooting, a few overdoses here and there.”  
  
“Sounds like a turf war.” He said. “The docks are the territory of Kong-Rong. Not all the English are as welcoming of Foreigners as others. Especially when it comes to drug trade.”  
  
“Was this what happened to the ship three days ago?” Sebastian asked.  
  
“Not quite, my dear Bassy.” Grell began. “I went on a little trip to fetch the soul of the ship’s captain. However, when I went to get him, the man who killed him was absolutely bonkers. Drugged out of his mind. He thought I was a hallucination and tried to attack me, and my death scythe broke the window. Though even if it hadn’t, he would have broken it.”  
  
“So your scythe breaking a window caused over forty extra deaths?” Ciel asked.  
  
“Not technically. If my scythe hadn’t broken the window, he would have. His death was already written in as “Drowns on a sinking ship”. I was just the bystander that made it happen.”  
  
Ciel rolled his eyes. “I’m not here for a game of semantics, reaper. Sebastian, your orders.”  
  
“Yes, my Lord?”  
  
“Stop the deaths from happening.”  
  
“Yes, my-“ Sebastian began, before Grell’s death scythe was in his face.  
  
“Now wait just a moment, darling Bassy. Messing with the ledger is getting into my job. If you stop those deaths from happening, that means extra overtime for me. Much as I would love to spend all night arguing with you, I don’t want the extra work.”  
  
“I have my orders. You know I must follow them.”  
  
“And what about the orders of your heart? You should follow it straight to me, Bassy Dear. Instead of your master, Follow me, and we’ll paint the world red together.”  
  
“You act as though I _have_ a heart.” He said, moving the scythe from his face.  
  
“I suppose then that means that I have to open you up and paint you in shades of red to make sure it’s beating only for me!” Grell said, before attacking him.  
  
The second she heard those words, Lilith felt the premonition descend upon her. The image of her son painted red, and unmoving. It was so strong it overwhelmed her for a moment, knocking her senses silly. She was still as a statue as the image assaulted her, but only for a second or two. Then, a feral cry burst from her lips. Ciel’s hands rocketed to his ears at the sound. It was worse than nails on a chalkboard. The high-pitched screech held agony, fear, and the kind of rage he’d only heard in insane women.

The sound was startling to Grell too, and he momentarily paused in his attack, giving Sebastian the upper hand. Just before Sebastian could land a blow, though, he countered, and his scythe cut through the sleeve of his wool tailcoat, leaving a trail of red escaping the demon’s arm. Still, he did not defer from the fight.  
  
Their fight was as beautiful as it was deadly. Through flips, swipes, and kicks, Sebastian attempted to follow his master’s orders. Grell, however, was not content to leave the battle this time. The only thing that rivaled his love for Bassy was his hatred of overtime. Continuing the fight gave him more of one and less of the other, and his motivation was strong.  
  
Still, he had a goal to paint his beloved Bassy in various shades of red. One arm was simply not enough of a paintbrush. However, opening up his chest cavity might give enough paint to do the job. With three swipes, the blood was flowing out, staining his beloved the color of sunsets on the horizon, of rose petals fallen from the stem, the color of death. The color red.  
  
Those swipes of the death were what Spurred Lilith into action. As the wife of Satan himself, she could do what her son could not, and unleash her full form whenever she chose with no repercussions. Watching a reaper try and make her son into a corpse was more than enough to invoke her ire.  
  
A rain of ash began to blacken the already dark night. Grell paused in his assault when he noticed the unusual weather. It was only then that he realized what was causing it. Very slowly, he turned to look behind him, and when he saw what was behind him, he blanched pale as a sheet. A pair of glowing red eyes were staring into his very soul, and they were as angered as he’d ever seen. He dropped his scythe at the sight, and just before the encroaching figure could touch him, he bolted away as quickly as he could, letting out a shriek.  
  
Once he was gone, Lilith resumed her human form. She felt fortunate that her son’s master had not seen it, lest he be scarred for life. But there was a far more important matter to attend now. The matter of her injured son.

The blood dripping form the wound on his injured arm was deep enough to see bone, but what frightened her more were the three screaming gashes on his chest that were bleeding so profusely there was hardly any white left in his dress shirt. Running over to him, uncaring of the young boy’s shrieking nearby her, She went over to him, and knelt by him.  
  
Sebastian was dazed. Pain was making everything hard to understand. He couldn’t make out the words being shouted from somewhere nearby him, nor was he able to move, but he was able to open his eyes enough to see, though his vision was blurred and he had blood in one eye.  
  
In a haze of white, he saw the face of the only person he might have wanted to see in that moment, and smiled drunkenly at the sight.  
  
“Mama.” The word came out small, as his strength was rapidly fading away.  
  
She picked him up. “Shhhh, my darling. Mama’s here. Mama will make it all better.” She soothed. Then, taking in a breath, she began to sing.

In a sound so beautiful the rest of the world fell silent, she began to sing to her child.  
  
Ciel, who was standing nearby, was momentarily dazed by the sound. He’d never been one to picture angels or heaven, or any of that sort of rubbish. However, hearing the sound of her voice might have been what he pictured a heavenly choir sounding like. The sound was so beautiful and soothing he felt a warmth in his insides as images of his own mother singing to him when he was ill filled his mind.  
  
The moment of shock passed in him, as he found himself able to think around the song as he listened to it. When the rest of the world flooded back into his shocked senses, he realized something amazing. Something he’d never seen in his entire life.  
  
As Lilith sang to her son, his wounds were closing. Ciel watched in amazement as gashes began closing, blood ceased to flow out, and wounds began to heal. By the time she neared the end of the song, he couldn’t see one open wound. The shock of it all temporarily subdued his anger at Sebastian for not following his orders, though it was certain to return later.  
  
Sebastian, in turn, began to liven as his wounds closed. The blood was stopping it’s flowing, and he felt himself getting stronger. When the fog of pain cleared from his mind, he recognized the song his mother was singing to him. An old lullaby that he hadn’t heard since he’d been ill as a child. It soothed him to his very core, and when it neared the end, he couldn’t help singing the last two lines in harmony with his mother.  
  
When the song was finished, he smiled at her wearily.  
  
"I haven't heard you sing that song in many years."

Lilith smiled gently at him. ”I know. It used to put you to sleep when you were a baby."

"Did it?” He asked, surprised.

"Mhm. If you were bored and started falling asleep I used to sing that to you to help you sleep."

Sebastian felt his throat tighten at the memories he had of her that involved that lullaby. ”All those years ago and you still remember that?"

His mother’s gaze was kind and gentle. ”I haven't forgotten a moment of you, darling. You're my baby, and I could never forget you."

Sebastian found himself swallowing thickly around the lump in his throat. ”I’ll never forget a moment of you either."  
  
The moment was interrupted by a stunned Ciel Phantomhive coming over to him.  
  
“How… How did you do that? How did you heal him so quickly?”  
  
Lilith Michaelis looked at him and gave a pearly smile. “I’m simply one hell of a mother.”

Before Ciel could respond, she spoke again. “You’ll find everyone involved on the docks asleep, by the way. I didn’t use that song just to put my children to sleep. I can use it on humans too as a kind of way to render them unconscious. There will be no bloodshed here today, Lord Phantomhive.”  
  
Ciel found himself wanting to be angry at her, but he just couldn’t. Actually, he couldn’t help feeling a little sleepy himself. When he realized that might have been part of her plan all along, he found himself angered.   
  
“Damn you, Sebastian…” They were the last words he said before he passed out.

Sebastian caught his young Lord before he could injure himself on the cobblestone.   
  
“There. Now that that’s settled, how about we put everybody to bed and have a nice chat together?” Lilith said, smiling.  
  
Sebastian smiled. “You clever shrew. Did you have that planned all along?”  
  
“You act as though I didn’t have time to think about all the ways I could save you.” She smirked.  
  
“And you rendered my young Lord unconscious in the process?”  
  
“He was ruining our moment, darling. That was the third time today. I wasn’t going to let there be a fourth.”  
  
Sebastian smiled warmly at her. “I suppose I can understand that.”

“I knew you would.” She said, smiling softly at him in turn.  
  
After loading his young Lord into the carriage, Sebastian set to work putting everyone else to bed. Under the cover of night, he was able to use his demonic speed, and got it done in mere minutes. Then, he returned to his mother and his lord, as the carriage drove back toward the Phantomhive Manor.  
  
All through the journey back, the two of them were thinking of what they should say to one another. The evening had certainly brought about more feelings than either of them had anticipated, and they weren’t entirely sure how to address them. However, it was obvious to them both that they needed addressing. The journey home felt incredibly short because they spent all their time thinking of how best to broach the subject with one another.  
  
When they inevitably reached the manor, Sebastian carried Ciel out from the carriage.   
  
“I’ll put him to bed. Please, make yourself comfortable in my quarters. I won’t be long.”  
  
Lilith nodded, and excused herself as Sebastian put Ciel to bed.  
  
Dressing his Lord for bed was twice as easy with him unconscious. Sebastian tried not to fixate on that too much, knowing it would get him in trouble with his young lord if he tried his mother’s little trick on him. However, he was pleased that he got his Lord to bed at a relatively reasonable hour. Then, grabbing a candle, he made his way toward his room.  
  
When he arrived, his mother was seated on his bed, and she regarded him with a gentle smile.  
  
“I love what you did with the room.” She smiled.  
  
“Ah, I should have guessed you’d figure out what was hidden in my closet. I never could get away with anything as a child.”

“And you’re still out of luck with that.” She smiled.  
  
There was a slightly awkward silence as Sebastian moved to sit with her.  
  
Lilith had gone over how she would start this conversation a hundred times, and yet it never felt quite right. She looked at her son, in his amber eyes, and saw the culmination of her life’s work. Her hopes and dreams were fulfilled in this child that she had given life to. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, but she knew she had to say _something_ or else it would all be for not.  
  
“Most mothers, no matter the species, picture having a baby when they envision having children.” She began. “It’s only natural. We spend months growing this tiny being in our bodies, and we picture when we get to meet them. We don’t think about them growing up or getting lives of their own. And when it happens, we become afraid. Parents make a promise to protect their children. No matter what happens. And when the inevitable moment comes when they leave, every parent is left with a horrible, sinking fear that their children are in danger without them. It does not matter how well we feel we have prepared them for what the world has to offer. We harbor the illusion that only _we_ can protect our children from the outside world. When they enter it for themselves, and we cannot protect them, we are afraid. And more than that, we feel afraid that they do not need us anymore.”

Sebastian listened intently as she continued. “Your father was very eager to have children, as was I. But I found that I felt an extraordinary amount of pressure with each new baby we had. I had to spread my love and attention between all of my children, and I so often felt that I was not enough because I couldn’t give each of you the attention you deserved. I felt horribly guilty that I couldn’t make each of you feel as loved as I knew you were. Your father made it clear that care taking was my duty, and I saw to it. But I could not be the mother I wanted to be for you all. I dreaded my pregnancies after a point because I was afraid that I would never have enough time for all of you. My biggest regret is not being able to savor those small moments when you kids were little. I felt like there were never any moments when I could just relax. I couldn’t be the mother I wanted to be because there was only one of me and so many of you. But I loved you all so much, even when I couldn’t give you the time you so desperately needed.”  
  
Lilith wiped at her eyes. “Did you know mothers know their babies by their scent within hours after they’re born?” She asked.   
  
“I did not.” He said.  
  
She nodded. “I knew you by your scent within minutes. Cinnamon, Smoldering wood, a hint of vanilla, and smoke. I loved the smell of you. When I felt overwhelmed when I was caring for you and your brothers and sisters needed me, I’d sniff your head. The smell calmed me down like a drug, almost. I loved the smell of my baby.” A short burst of laughter erupted from her. “You probably think that’s silly, don’t you?”  
  
He set his hand on hers. “No. I think it’s sweet.”

She looked surprised at that, but smiled slowly afterward.  
  
He supposed it was his turn to speak now, if they were to have this conversation as openly and honestly as he could.  
  
“When I was a child, I can remember waiting for you to come into my room at night. I expected that you would come to see me, and see how I was doing. That was what my concept of a mother was. Father didn’t want much to do with me, and so I placed my need for love and attention on your shoulders. In retrospect, perhaps that was too much to ask of you. You had so many children to tend to already. But I wanted your love and attention. I craved it so desperately. I loved when I got sick because it meant I would see more of you. I was selfish and childish, but I just wanted your love, and I never felt like I had it because I didn’t see you at all. But when I think back on childhood now, there isn’t one good memory that I have, not one, that you weren’t there for. Perhaps my perception was distorted back then because my expectations were so high. But I… I loved you. And I _still_ love you, even when I don’t want to because I don’t want to feel hurt again when I don’t get the time with you I wanted so badly. And even though I'm grown now, I still want those things from you. I still _need_ those things from you. It makes me wonder if I still have some growing up to do if I still crave those things."  
  
“I think that’s a sign of maturity, actually.” She said. “Acknowledging your wants and needs is an important thing. And there is no creature on earth that doesn’t desire love in some form. We as demons cultivate the perceived absence of love in a soul. It’s how we feed. But perhaps the fact that we eat souls with an absence of love creates a need for it in ourselves. We’re supposed to be exempt from human wants and desires, and yet we feed on them. Sooner or later, in one way or another, it’s bound to catch up with us. We are blessed and cursed by what we are, but admitting to what we want and need are how we grow."  
  
“Growing by admitting weakness. How utterly _human_.” He said, but a small smile played at his lips.  
  
“Wanting love is not a weakness. It’s simply a need. And your need for it has yet to be met.” She said, reasonably. “And wanting my love is nothing to be ashamed of. There is no child anywhere that does not immediately crave a mother’s love and affection."  
  
“Yes, but as you so blithely pointed out, I am not a child anymore.”  
  
She winced as the words made impact with her. “I did. But as _you_ pointed out, perhaps you still have some growing up to do.”  
  
There wasn’t a whole lot he could say to that when she turned his own words against him.  
  
A beat of silence. Then: “So, what are we to do about this, then?” Sebastian asked her.  
  
She steeled herself and looked at him. “Do you _want_ to do something about it?”  
  
“…I rather think I do. I’m tired of feeling so weak by having these constant needs hanging over my head.”  
  
“Well then, The simplest way to do that would be my taking care of your needs.” She said.  
  
The words hung in the air a moment as he caught up to where she was already.  
  
“You don’t mean _all_ my needs, do you?” He asked. She did not miss the subtle hopeful inflection that colored his words.  
  
“I most certainly do.” She said. “I’ve spent far too much time being spread too thin over far too many children. I’d like to be able to see how it feels to give my time and attention to just one for a change.” She looked over at him, and held his hand in her own. “I’ve missed out on so much in your life. The adventures you’ve gone on, the souls you have taken. I don’t want to miss any more. The only time I didn’t miss anything was when you were a baby. It was the only time I ever understood what it felt like to give all of your time and attention to just one child. Perhaps it’s a ludicrous idea, I know, but even if it’s only in short bursts, I’d… I’d like to have my baby back for a while. I’d like to be able to start over and put the past behind us. I don’t want our relationship to be constantly cordial and formal. I just want us to be… normal. I love you so much and I don’t want to lose you. Will you give me that chance? Will you give _us_ that chance?”

For a moment, there was silence. The most terse silent seconds of her life. She looked at her son as he processed the words, and he looked so torn by them. She could see the struggle going on in his mind, the two poles of his brain trying to come to a conclusion. On the one hand, he could choose to say no and never have to worry about getting hurt by her again. On the other, he could say yes, and though he’d risk getting hurt, he could stand to gain so much more.  
  
She moved and stroked his hair, smoothing it gently as she did so. “It’s alright.” She said, as she once had when he was a child. “It’s going to be okay.”  
  
Then, she saw his lip quiver. Not seconds later, she saw tears filling his eyes.  
  
“Mama…” Came the whimper.  
  
Her reaction was so instantaneous it shocked even her. Before she could think about what she was doing, she pulled him into her lap and wrapped her arms around him in a hug, kissing his temple and hushing him.  
  
Sebastian managed to surprise himself too. Unconsciously, his thumb flew into his mouth as he began to suck on it. He didn’t realize it was happening for several seconds. When he did, he went to remove it, but Lilith guided it back in with a fond smile.  
  
“When you were a baby you used to suck on your tail all the time.” She said, rubbing his back. “I always wonder if human babies suck their thumbs because they don’t have tails.” She said, and chuckled.  
  
He found himself giggling a bit at the idea too. Perhaps this was where his intrigue with the human race began. Regardless, he held closer to his mother. The scent of her calmed his very being, and he found it easier to be still in her arms. For the first time in a long while, he felt peaceful.  
  
They stayed interlocked that way for a while, neither moving, just enjoying the other’s company.  
  
Eventually, though, Lilith spoke up. “I meant what I said before. I don’t want to miss any more of your life.” She said sincerely.  
  
Sebastian popped his thumb from his mouth. “I know. But how we’ll find time to do this… I have My Lord to tend to, and you have the rest of the children…”  
  
“We’ll find a way. I know we will. We both want this too badly to simply let it go.”  
  
“Yes, you’re right.” He said. He shifted in her lap. “Do you… Do you ever wish you hadn’t had so many children?” He asked. It was a sensitive question. The silent question he implied was _do you ever wish you hadn’t had me?_  
  
She looked him right in the eyes as she spoke. “No. I never wish that.”  
  
Receiving an absolution he hadn’t realized he’d needed, he relaxed back into her hold. She gave him a kiss, and finally felt a sense of completeness within herself.  
  
Outside the Phantomhive manor, the chill of a fall evening raced through the air. Servants and Master alike huddled under blankets to keep warm against the incoming winter chill. In Sebastian’s quarters, the demon butler had his head on his mother’s shoulder, feeling his eyelids grow heavy as he smelt the sweet perfume that rolled off her skin, and heard the steady beating of her heart in this body. The sound that had been the first one he’d ever heard, and the last one he’d ever want to hear. His mother stroked his hair gently, and began humming a gentle tune into his ear. The chill of winter would never be able to touch either of them with it’s bitterness again. Of that, they were sure.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and reviews are always welcome! If you guys want a series with Seb and Lilith please let me know!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


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